UK Top 40 Raises Some Important Questions

3 Dec

The Top 40 Chart is broadcast live every Sunday here in the UK on BBC Radio 1.

I’m usually working my day job by the time the show starts which means I can listen to the whole rundown of this week’s most popular music.

It’s pretty much the highlight of my Sunday shift. Not much else is going on.

This week, though, there seems to be something wrong. The chart isn’t what it should be. Some of the songs involved are not exactly ground-breaking super-beats or heart-meltingly beautiful power ballads, which raises some very important questions:

(Answers on a tweet, comment, postcard)

1) Number 40 is a new entry from Athlete with ‘Wires’. One can only presume the world was reminded of this boring song when good ol’ Rylan performed it on the results show last week. Does this mean Rylan does actually have selling-power?

2) Ladywell Primary School are also new in at number 39 posing the obvious question of WHO?! Well ladies and gents I found out via Twitter yesterday that it is a cute little effort recorded in the school’s gym hall in memory of classmate Caden Beggan (via @FinllFixIt on Twitter). So, in order to raise even more money for meningitis research download the song on iTunes! Have you done your bit yet?

3) Imagine Dragons have entered the charts at numbers 35 AND 37! Well done you guys! The question here is… Who the heck are Imagine Dragons? Indie Rock band from Las Vegas with Alex Da Kid on production. Seems legit.

4) ‘Shine Ya Light’ by Rita Ora is still floating around the top 40 at number 34. For such an unoriginal, tedious song it’s spent an unimaginable amount of time rammed down our throats by continuous air time and stragetically placed ads on YouTube (everywhere). Who is still buying this song?

5) Any song with “tweedle-da-dee-dee-deeee” as lyrics should never chart. Even if you are McFly and only number 33. Sorry, lads.

6) Naughty Boy and Emeli Sande are only at number 32 with Wonder. Question here is; who is NOT buying this song?? Deserves to be much higher in the charts, especially when Taylor Swift, Psy and The Pogues are sitting higher up in the chart!

7) How much money does Mariah Carey make from ‘All I Want For Christmas’ every year? It’s only the 3rd of December and she’s already sitting pretty at number 30!

8) How much money do The Pogues make from yearly sales of ‘Fairytale of New York?’ It was hideous all those years ago, it is still hideous now. Whoever feels the need to buy this song every year may need to be mentally tested.

9) Who remembers Gold Dust?! DJ Fresh’s finest song (in my humble opinion) is back at number 25 and it still feels as epic as it’s first release, if not more, because not only is the original back with a bang, the Shy FX re-edit is NEW and is a flaming hot version of the original. It needs to get higher! Listen here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duZlM0-zHf8

10) Christina Perri is in at number 13. Is it just me or does ‘A Thousand Years’ sound pretty much the same as ‘Jar of Hearts’? Borin’ Hell!

11) K$sha at number 10? How loyal are her ‘animals’?? The song is poo, her singing ability needs to be questioned and we really need to figure out how many more alternations of Auto Tune we can tolerate. However, well done Kesha’s animals for getting her where she is today. The rest of humanity can’t work it out.

12) Gangnam Style is still in the Top 10. Fair dues to Psy who released a terrible, catchy-ass song. It was always bound to be a hit. Everyone loves a laugh. Yet, this has now been a 15-week-long laugh. PLEASE STOP BUYING THIS SONG. Many thanks xx

13) Gabrielle Aplin. Quite a cute tune. But number 6? Surely that should’ve been where Emeli Sande should’ve been? Maybe Adele? I’d even accept Robbie at number 6. Anyone else more deservant of this spot? Yawn fest.

14) We all really loved Diamonds. RiRi’s first good song since…well for a while. It’s catchy and makes you sing along in a weird faux-Barbadian accent. Then the radios got a hold of it and it was OK’d for every single station on planet Earth. Heart, Magic, Kiss, Choice, 1extra, Heat… In fact it was so overplayed it died an ugly death. Or so everyone thought. It’s BACK at number 3… probably because the more mature listeners think it’s brand new. Any other suggestions for this annoying climb up the chart?

15) Bruno Mars at number 2, Olly Murs at 1 (for a second week running). I do love a bit of Olly, but Bruno is perfect. As is ‘Locked Out of Heaven’. Quick swapsies?

Now that’s 15 life-changing, pretty serious questions about this week’s chart. In short, a huge rant from me. How do you see the charts? Just right? Or all wrong? Comment below and subscribe or tweet me @sheldan2207

xx Peace xx

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